I just might die with a smile on my face after all

Sage and Simon are both super competitive perfectionists, so the following scenario happens in our house at least twice a day:

Perfectionist child playing the Wii, Gamecube or Computer: "AAAaaaarrrgggghhh!!" followed by the clomping sound made by them stomping their foot or throwing something.

Me: "Stop getting so upset or you have to get off the game."

Perfectionist child 2 minutes later: "GRrrrrrrrrRRRRRRrrrrRR!!!!"

Me: "Seriously with the angry noises? Knock it off!!"

Perfectionist child, angrily: "But I keep messing up!" (or, I keep dying, or I just can't get this part right, etc...)

Me: "It is a game. It is meant to be fun. If you are always frustrated then you are not having fun and you should go do something else!"

Perfectionist child continues playing the game in a state of increasingly-panicked frustration until I can't take it anymore and make them go do something else.

I don't understand why they persist in subjecting themselves to something that obviously frustrates and annoys them so.

Or wait. Maybe I do...

*******
When I first started this blog, I did it because I thought it would be fun. And it was fun...at first. I loved having a place where I could talk about whatever I wanted and I loved it when you guys talked back. I wouldn't trade for anything the new friends I've made, the old friends I've found and the people I've gotten to know better because of my blog.

But it isn't fun anymore.

I find myself increasingly having to force myself to write things just because it's been a long time since my last post. I have an edit box full of half finished posts and pages of scribbled down ideas for posts, but I just don't want to do it. I'm reminded of a friend of mine who was a huge scrapbooker; her husband accused her of coming up with family activities based around what would look cute in the scrapbook--I sometimes feel like I do things just so I can blog about them. Although I guess that's not terrible if it leads you to do something wonderful that you might not have done without the bloggy-push to get off your heiney and do it, I don't want it to become a controlling force in my decisions!

Last week as we were finishing up the kitchen redo, I realized I was obsessing about how something was turning out knowing that I would have to post pix on my blog. I was stressed about not having every finishing touch in place before I needed to post about it on my blog. I worked myself to an exhausted frenzy, so I could meet a self-imposed blog deadline. All the while, I kept taking "breaks" to come down to the computer and update my blog, typing, re-typing, deleting and starting over.

Me: "GRrrrrrrrrRRRRRRrrrrRR!!!!"

Me: "Self, this is a blog. It is meant to be fun. If you are always frustrated then you are not having fun and you should go do something else!"

I will at least consider therapy...

*******

So, for now I will say good bye to you all, dear readers. (Well, you know...not really-but that was a fun sentence to type.) I will see some of you on PYP, I'll try my hand at being a little more active on Facebook, I'll visit you on your blogs, and for you silent readers, drop me an email now and then (shazbraz@gmail.com). And I'm not deleting my blog; I'm very fickle, you know. I just may be back someday.

New Me Monday

Weight loss: still 0

This gives me hope that I will be good at maintenance since I really have not been trying or tracking at all. 3 more weeks until school/work starts and I can start losing again.

On the player today: The Kooks. Love this band; they are just so deliciously British.

Friday Flashback

This is one of those songs that I completely forget about and then every few years I hear it and remember how great it is. That was a stupid sentence.

You know what's not stupid? This song.

Random catch up and preview

*Simon had a birthday; he turned 11. He goes to the middle school in the fall. There are pictures. Somewhere.

*James went on his first week-long scout trip. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. It was weird not having him here for that long, though. His Scout leaders were very complimentary when they returned and said that he was the best, most helpful, kind scouty type scout of the whole stake. Moms like to hear things like that.

* What is up with this boy in this ad?
*I gained 2 pounds last week. I almost never eat out anymore-really--ever--but in the past week I've had McDonalds once and pizza twice. And candy. And birthday cake. And Sonic blackberry Sprite. Oh, yeah, that was twice too. I ate like this last week because of this:

*Here is a little preview of the kitchen transformation. Which is why I've been too busy to blog. Or email. Or eat healthy. Or go to the store to buy food. Or sleep more than 6 hours a night (don't worry...I catch up on my sleep in sacrament meeting...)

*Hang on! I found Simon's birthday pictures. It was a very low-key day. He had some friends over for a backyard water party with hot dogs and cupcakes, and then later that night we had Taco Salad for dinner with an alien cake (yeah, you can see from the pix that I didn't even change out of my painting clothes for dinner--he's the middle child. He'll already need therapy, right?)

Friday Flashback

Do you guys know this song?

Awesome video.

Oh, and check out the girls hair at 1:34-left middle. I covet that hair.

New Me Monday

Weight lost this week: 2

Woo. Hoooo! I think I'm more proud of those two little pound than about any other I've lost so far. I think I'll do another week of Special K-ness. Easy peasy since I'm up to my neck in paint anyway.

Recipe for this week: No recipe this week. We had a lot of stuff out of the book I referenced last week (Meatless Dishes in 20 Minutes) but although it was all ok, none of it knocked our socks off. Also, every recipe in the book is covered in cheese, so that's been a bit of a challenge.

Off to the treadmill! I've been up since 4:30 and if I don't do it now, it is SO not happening later...

On the player today: "Tonight I Have To Leave It" - the Shout Out Louds